Kids say the Darnest Things

[Taz Baby]

Everyone who has kids or are around kids have some fond memories of some of the funnest things they said. Lets share some of those things. Let me start.





“A 5 Yr Olds Thoughts about Spankings

When my youngest son was about 5 years old, he had done something bad that required a spanking. We were in the bedroom discussing why he was going to get the spanking. The conversation went something like this:" Do you know what you did? Yes. Do you know why I have to spank you? Yes. Why? Because you love me so much." He asked with watery eyes, "Is it going to hurt? Yes." As I got ready to spank him, he looked up at me with tears running down his little cheeks and said between sniffle's," Mommy, Please don't love me so much." All I could do was pick him up and give him a kiss and a hug. I told him, "I have to love you so much, but I do not have to spank you." He is now 25 years old, and we still laugh at that story.

[apssbc]

Got my young cousin a compass from the dollar store when he was about 6ish. When we got back to the property I was showing him how it was supposed to work. Realizing I wasted a dollar because it was broke I exclaimed "This compass doesnt work!" He instantly replied "It works Aaron, your just not lost yet." That was one of my favorites and he had a few like that.

[Katrina]

My friend didn't realize how into golfing her sister was until she took her nephew to her son's baseball game. Her dad showed up dor the game and her 4 yr old nephew went running up to him exclaiming , "Boppie,Boppie, Brandon got a hole in one". His cousin had just hit a home run with all bases loaded.

[Taz Baby]

I was shopping at the mall with my Sister in law and my 6 yr. old niece. While it was the holiday season and the mall was crowded, we were getting tired and found a bench it sit on and rest. As we were watching the people going about the business, my niece was watching this one-person intensely. Finally she looked at her mother and said in a very loud excited voice, “Mommy did you see that?” “See what,” her mom asked. “See that little boy spank his mommy’s a$$. She must have been whining about a toy.” You could have heard a pin drop where we were. It seemed that everyone heard her, even the woman and her son. Because she grabbed him, up and spanked his butt.

[work in progress]

I cannot tell a lie - I should be much more careful about what I say anywhere around my little girl. She is four and very precocious. And very smart. And hears very well. so when we were looking for something the other day, she said, "OH! I know where it is. It's under here". She crawled under her bed and after a second, I hear a muffled little voice say, "Well, I can't find it under here damnit". "Damnit". She backs out from under her bed and I am trying NOT to smile. But, she senses this and looks at me with a smirk and gives me another 'damnit' just to see what I am going to do. I chuckle and ask her if Gram would want her to say this word. She says no, and still smiles. I ask her if she is going to say it again, and am trying to control myself - she asks me if i think it's funny. All I can say is, "Oh Ellie, I think we're going to have to tell Dada". She promises me she will never say it again, then tilts her head to the side and points a finger at me and says, "But YOU think it's funny". And I do. Horrible, but funny.

[The Stig]

Stayed home from church because I'm not feeling well. Seems like I've been fighting something all week.

As LilStig and Mrs Stig are walking out the door for church, Lil Stig turns to me and says, "Come on Fred, we have to go solve the mystery!"

She's been watching A LOT of Scooby Doo lately I guess.

[izzyscout21]

My wife told one of the kids not to do something the other morning. One of the twins said "No mommy, thats fubar."

I could feel the invisible laser drilling into my head from acros the room.............

I guess they listen to daddy wway to much...

[piranha2]

They are little sponges. They absorb everything you say and do. Be very careful.

[Katrina]

Pop didn't realize how much my baby brother heard and retained. Pop, when driving the car would say, Oh Balls when an idjiot driver did something stupid or would cut him off. After mom died I would take baby bro (2) to school (mom passed middle of my senior yr), I would stay after with him and would work on plays and such. My teacher's then fiance would warn the guys about their language because of little bro, so the guys would say Pardon my french instead of cussing. Well one night baby bro was playing with some toys at home and one broke. All of a sudden, he hollered Oh, Balls and then Pardon my French after a second toy broke and he lobbed it across the room, like a two yr old would, Pop got all upset, Where did he learn that? etc, etc, and then had to back down because the rest of us kids said (in between ROFLOAO) That's what you say, etc etc in the car.. I told him that the guys at school really watched their language around him and would say PMF instead of cussing. Tell you what Pop watched what he said after that. Baby bro repeated EVERYTHING he heard when he was little, good or bad.

[izzyscout21]

At the restaurant last night, me and my wife's uncle were on the front porch waiting for the rest of the family to come out. We had the twins with us. A group of 4 or 5 people came up, opening the door to go inside, while the last guy in their group sttod on the porch and lit a cig. NO sooner had he lit his stick, Scarlett got loose and ran over to this guy (maybe 6' 2") sttod beside him, covereed her mouth and started *fake* coughing. SHe looked up at him and says, "Scuse me, I coughin", and continued to stand ther and cough. Me, totally embarrassed and thinking, this is not my kid, start makeing my way over to reign her back in. He lloks at her, looks again, then puts his cig out and walks in. AFter I got over my total ebarrassent, I couldn't help it. LMAO It couldn't have been timed any better.. SHould have been on an anti-smoking commercial.........

[Gunfixr]

"Kids Say the Darnedest Things" is the title of a book I read once.
Written by some long forgotten tv personality whose name escapes me at the moment, but who was a household name back at the time.

[eagle326]

"Kids Say the Darnedest Things" is the title of a book I read once.
Written by some long forgotten tv personality whose name escapes me at the moment, but who was a household name back at the time.


I think that was Art Linkletter who wrote the book.

[Katrina]

Yup and he did a tv show on it as well

[Taz Baby]

I was just informed that my grandson is learning about Martin Luther King JR. in kindergarten. This morning he was running through the house taking his clothes off down to his undies and saying,” I am free at last, I am free at last” When his Mom asked him what he was doing he said, “My clothes were holding me down and now I am free at last.” She asked him, “What do you mean?” and He said, “You know that Martin Luther Thingy.”
I think he missed the whole concept of the lesson.

[Gunfixr]

Hhhmmmmmm ......................maybe.

Maybe not so much.

[Taz Baby]

My daughter told me this. My 6 yr old grandson dug up some earthworms and brought them in the house and asked if he could bring them in if he gave them a bath. I told her that at least he didn't want to eat them like she did when she was little. I taught her to always wash your food before you eat it.

[Katrina]

Well my 2 year old grand son is going to send his parents into an early grave. They have a child gate across the bedroom so he doesn't wander around if he wakes up earlier than his 'rents. He gets to read his books till they get up, well he's figured out how to stack those books,1,2,3,4 and flip himself over the gate, Son 2 asked if they would be considered bad parents if they stacked another gate on top of the first one. I have to laugh the mothers curse really works he's got one just like he was growing up. I never had gray hair till he was born.